Dealing With Difficult People at Work: Can't Control Them But You Can Control You

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Here's a nice little article written by Tony Schwartz in the Harvard Business School Blog Network. Provides some nice, useful perspectives regarding how to deal with people in the workplace, bosses or otherwise, that you find to be difficult. You know, people that backstab, steal your ideas, micromanage you, don't give you credit, can't make up their minds, nag you, don't respond to your requests, is flaky, etc. No doubt most of us can relate.

We all know you can't control the other person but we also need to be reminded of this fact. This applies to all relationships, work or otherwise. But you CAN control how you react. This article summarizes three effective ways of doing so:

1. Realistic Optimism: You can't change them but you can change the way YOU react. Instead of reacting negatively, you can reassess what really is the "problem" in your mind and then choose to look at things...and react to them...more positively.

2. The Reverse Lens: You feel threatened and devalued, but another way out is to take a hard look at what is driving your boss/coworker to act the way they are, and to try to understand them. What's driving the other person's behavior and can you empathize with them? Your empathy may help give them the value they seek and may improve the situation.

3. The Long Lens: OK, maybe the other person truly is a dirtbag that in the long term you'll never be able to work with. So another way to deal with it is, what can you learn from them and/or the situation. Can it, will you let it, lead to bigger and better things in your life.

Speaking of work and jobs, if you looking for a job in the Ventura County area, you may find this list of over 200 links to hiring companies useful.

Traveling with the Kids to Las Vegas: Getting There and Getting Around

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Recently I took my kids on a 3 day adventure to Las Vegas to meet up with their grandma and give their mom a break back home. My challenge: How to have a fun mini-vacation with my 5 and 8 year old boys while maintaining my sanity on this ultimate bachelor weekend in Vegas.


Since I only rarely get out to Las Vegas, I had to do some research and soul searching on the best way to get there, get around, where to stay and what to do. So while it's still fresh on my mind, how about if I share some of my experiences with you.

This will be done in 2 parts: Getting There and Getting Around (Part I) and Things to See and Do (Part II). This article is really long compared to most posted here on CVG, but perhaps some of this detailed information and ramblings will be useful to you in your own travels. Or maybe it will just make you feel better, knowing we all go through some travel challenges, moreso when kids are in tow.

Drive or Fly?

Living in Southern California, the first question is, how do I get there....do I drive or do I fly? From a financial perspective, it generally is cheaper to drive if you have 2 or more people. From Thousand Oaks to Las Vegas is about 600 miles round trip, which is about $120 in gas at today's prices, ignoring wear and tear on the car.

But then you think about do you really want to spend 5 hours in a car driving through the desert and do you want to deal with traffic jams, etc.  Road trips can be fun and all, but my rear end and back aren't big into long drives.  So I checked out flights on Southwest via Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, seeking inexpensive options several weeks in advanc

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What Not to Do in Your Job Search: 10 Common Mistakes Made by Job Hunters

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What Not to Do in Your Job Search

10 common mistakes made by job hunters—and how to avoid them

By Kathyrn Ullrich

Five out of six working Americans—a full 84 percent—plan to look for a new position in 2011, according to a recent survey by job-placement firm Manpower. If you are, or soon will be, one of them, you’ve got to stack your deck to stand out and succeed. But how? Start by knowing—and avoiding—10 common mistakes made by job hunters:

1. Playing the generalist card

Now more than ever, companies look for specialists, not generalists. Develop a personal brand, distinguish your skills and strengths, and design your job search around specific industries and functions. For inspiration, turn to the Internet or a Sunday newspaper and study searches from real-life companies. Recently, for instance, a well-known software company was seeking a seasoned marketer “skilled in developing online video for B2B marketing.” In short: specialize!

2. Bloated resumes

Employers don’t read resumes—they scan them in mere seconds. Put

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We Are Halfway Into Febewary, Febrewary or February? How Do You Pronounce It?

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I'll admit. Out of convenience I've pretty much always pronounced February as Feb-ew-air-ee. Pretty much most people I know pronounce it that way. But technically it should be pronounced Feb-rew-air-ee.

This discrepancy between pronunciation and how the word is spelled has always bothered me, but since everyone else says Feb-ew-air-ee too like me (except for a few really anal retentive friends), I've ignored that nagging feeling.

But today is a new day. We are living and breathing February right now and I am committing to saying it correctly from this day forward, no matter how obnoxious I sound to others and how difficult it is to say.

One of the problems I think people have with pronouncing Feb-rew-air-ee is that they place a 3rd "r" in there, making it sound almost like the Scooby Doo "ruh roh" sound "Feb-ru-rare-ree" which of course is incorrect. It's actually not that hard to pronounce Feb-rew-air-ee if you make a mental note not to sound like Scooby Doo.

According to Charles Harrington Elster in his The Big Book of Beastly Mispronunciations. "The traditional and cultivated pronunciation, FEB-roo-ER-ee, is hard to say, and so most people say FEB-yoo-ER-ee because it is easier and because so many others do, not because it is right." and "As far as this book is concerned, however, the -yoo- variant may now be standard, but it is still beastly."

OUCH! I guess we better pronounce it right so as not be considered beastly! And the following should help us all in our quest for proper pronunciation of our favorite short month, FEBRUARY! (No, this is not me. I still screw it up.)

Resolving to Say "NO" by Gail Small

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A vignette by Gail Small, co-author of "Joyful Volunteering: Making a Difference." This one is called "NO" and is timely as we approach yet another new year!

NO by Gail Small

It was a warm winter day and I remember wearing a short-sleeved red checkered blouse with my favorite blue skirt. Suddenly though, I felt a chill and I froze.

It was at a community meeting of women. I was comfortable as we visited and shared stories. And then, it happened. The hostess handed us each a paper and pencil and asked us to write down our New Year's resolution.

My pencil wouldn't write. Those around me smiled and wrote non-stop. I knew my friend to my left was writing about the new diet she was going to go on the first of the year. My friend to the right had to be writing about making more money in her job, as that was always her primary focus. Someone across the room was chuckling out loud as she described the man of her dreams who she was determined to find in the coming year.

I was blank. Blank and confused. I thought about my everyday life. I am content. Sometimes I am really tired and often wish there were more minutes in a day. But, don't most of us think those things? I am happy in my relationships. I love my job and my family and friends. I work out and feel fit. I volunteer in the schools, in the community and for many organizations. I am always there when someone needs me for carpool, an emergency, or to run an errand. Wow! What to do?

Others were folding their resolutions in half once and then again. The crackly sound of the paper folding annoyed me as my page was still empty. Everyone smiled as they placed their well-chosen words into a

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Holiday Season Safety Tips from the Thousand Oaks Police Department

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From the Thousand Oaks Police Department Crime Prevention Bureau (www.vcsd.org)

It is that time of year again where criminals will begin looking for opportunities to make their holiday season more enjoyable. Here are some tips to help you have a happier holiday.

Holiday Tips At Home

  • Be extra cautious about locking doors and windows when you leave the house, even for a few minutes.
  • When leaving home for an extended time, have a neighbor or family member watch your house and pick up your newspapers and mail.
  • Indoor and outdoor lights should be on an automatic timer.
  • Leave a radio or television on so the house looks and sounds occupied.
  • Large displays of holiday gifts should not be visible through the windows and doors of your home.
  • When setting up a Christmas tree or other holiday display, make sure doors and passageways are clear inside your home.
  • Be sure your Christmas tree is mounted on a sturdy base so children, elderly persons or family pets cannot pull it over on themselves.
  • If you use lights on your Christmas tree ensure the wiring is not damaged or frayed. Frayed or damaged wiring can cause a fire.
  • Place your Christmas tree in water or wet sand to keep it green.
  • Never place wrapping paper in your fireplace.

Strangers at Your Door

  • Be aware that criminals sometimes pose as couriers delivering gifts.
  • It is not uncommon for criminals to take advantage of the generosity of people during the holiday season by soliciting donations door-to-door for charitable causes although no charity is involved.
  • Ask for their identification, and find out how the donated funds will be used. If you are not satisfied, do not donate.
  • Donate to a recognized charitable organization.

Hosting a Party

  • Have non-alcoholic beverages available for party guests.
  • Find alternative transportation for intoxicated guests.
  • Arrange for an official designated driver for your party who will not drink at all.

Attending a Party

  • Have something to eat before consuming alcoholic beverages.
  • Eat high protein foods that will stay in your stomach longer and slow the
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Protect Yourself During an Earthquake: Drop, Cover and Hold On!

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Last night around 8:30 pm there was a short 3.9 magnitude earthquake centered near Point Mugu that was felt around Ventura County. I was with my young kids upstairs when the loud but short quake hit. Intuitively I grabbed my 4 year old and crouched under a door jamb***. It reminded me that we should all do some homework on how to protect yourself during a quake (courtesy of www.earthquakecountry.info).

DURING an earthquake, if you are:

Indoors: Drop, cover, and hold on. Drop to the floor, take cover under a sturdy desk or table, and hold on to it firmly. Be prepared to move with it until the shaking stops. If you are not near a desk or table, drop to the floor against the interior wall and protect your head and neck with your arms. Avoid exterior walls, windows, hanging objects, mirrors, tall furniture, large appliances, and kitchen cabinets with heavy objects or glass. Do not go outside!

In bed: If you are in bed, hold on and stay there, protecting your head with a pillow. You are less likely to be injured staying where you are. Broken glass on the floor has caused injury to those who have

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