The City of Thousand Oaks Announces "Trek & Brek" Pilot Program for Local Residents

The City of Thousand Oaks has announced a new program to encourage use of our beautiful open space. "Trek & Brek" offers residents who hike to designated pilot locations the opportunity to purchase some of their breakfast favorites.

Program Manager Stu Pidman remarked, "how many times have you trekked up Tarantula Hill, only to be distracted by the desire for a Venti Caramel Latte when you reach the top?" Now you can enjoy the view with a selected fresh brew.

Residents polled indicated a Jack in the Box breakfast is the ultimate incentive for strolling down the Mesa Trail. "What better way to burn off calories en route to Lizard Rock?" says 11 year resident Ivana Eeet. "Frankly I don't enjoy hiking, but knowing a Breakfast Jack is in my immediate future really gets me going."

Sally Fritter and her daughter Apple were the first duo to test the new Krispy Kreme vending machine on the Hill Canyon Trail in Thousand Oaks. Though in the initial pilot they tossed their glazed Krispy Kremes into the Arroyo Conejo after a swarm of bees came after the donuts, they enjoyed the fresh air.

Learn more at www.trekandbrek.com.

Breaking News: City of Thousand Oaks to be Renamed City of Westbury Oaks

Breaking news! City of Thousand Oaks announces its new name, Westbury Oaks!

Incorporated in 1964, the City of Thousand Oaks expanded in the 1960s and 1970s to include two-thirds of Westlake Village and most of Newbury Park. However, the name Thousand Oaks remained the same.

Yesterday, after years of petitioning by local residents, City Council announced the renaming of the city to better reflect its components.

According to city spokesperson Ivana Fulya, Westbury Oaks beat out the other two top choices, Thousand Newlakes and Bury Thousandvillages by a slim margin.

Joe King of Westlake Village remarked, "Everyone's always been confused about where we live. Is it Westlake Village or is it Thousand Oaks? Now we'll all be one big happy, less confused family of Westbury Oaks residents!"

CVUSD representative Jess Kiddeen added "Thousand Oaks, Westlake and Newbury Park High Schools will be renamed Westbury Oaks I, Westbury Oaks II and Westbury Oaks III, respectively in light of this fantastic change."

Descendants of Egbert Starr Newbury, namesake of Newbury Park, had no comment.

APRIL FOOLS'!

April Fools' fun in prior years

Rotating Nature Exhibit at Conejo Creek Park North in Thousand Oaks to Feature Hippos

Conejo Recreation & Park District has outdone itself once again. In an effort to diversify the types of activities available to district residents, CRPD presents a one of a kind experience at Conejo Creek Park North. Starting today, a family of hippopotamuses will be residing in the Conejo Creek pond, cohabitating with the duckies.

John Dewliddle, head of CRPD's new Wildlife Habitat Animals in Training (WHAT) program remarked "We are thrilled to present this unique experience to the Conejo Valley."

I asked, "WHAT?" and he nodded. Hippos are the first set of animals that will be rotated into the park in six month increments. "We're already working on crocodiles in September of 2021, followed by African Bush Elephants next spring."

Is this safe for local residents? Dewliddle indicated, "Absolutely. These are the most docile hippos in Southern California. They love to eat, and we've partnered with Costco to provide an endless supply of fruits and vegetables to keep them munching away." He asks that residents refrain from feeding the hungry hippos.

More info at bit.ly/ConejoValleyHippos.

President Trump Issues Executive Order to Postpone Easter Sunday to Sunday, July 5th

In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, President Donald J. Trump has issued an executive order to defer celebration of Easter Sunday from April 12th to July 5th, 2020. Here is a transcript of Trump’s remarks at signing of the order.

Trump: The whole world is inflicted with this horrible, horrible virus. With Easter just 11 days away, I decided we need to do something big, very, very big, to show the children of this country that they are not forgotten. This was a tremendous decision that I have to say, no other President in the history of the United States has ever done. Huge, very huge. A tremendous, tremendous decision, the likes of which no one, I’m told, by many other people, that no one, no one, has ever even thought about doing.

By rescheduling Easter to Sunday, July 5th, the day after July 4th, we have a terrific opportunity to do something never done in history. And it will be a very, very great thing. Something that is, just, incredible., really incredible. Melania and I will be hosting the largest Easter egg hunt in history on the White House lawn that day. Believe me, it will be the greatest Easter egg event ever seen. People have told me that it would be spectacular. We’ll have eggs with chocolate, jelly beans, maybe other things. Maybe money. A lot of it. We’ll see what happens.

Vice President Pence: I can’t emphasize enough the incredible decision that President Donald J. Trump, has made. Moving Easter Sunday 12 weeks into the future gives us the opportunity to stretch Lent out by another 12 weeks. Thank you so much, Mr. President.

Trump: Good ole’ Mike. I can’t wait. Now stand over there. You’re too close to me. Remember, folks, to practice social distancing. Mike, you’re a good man. But you need to give me six feet clearance. Now, press, we have time for one question, then we have to go. Jim, go ahead.

Jim Acosta: Mr. President, I understand that Easter Sunday will be a challenge to celebrate this year because of the coronavirus pandemic. But does it really make sense to push this holy day back 12 weeks?

Trump: That is a terrible question. You are fake news. Thank you everyone!

The Easter Conejo

APRIL FOOL’S!!

The Oaks Celebrates Its Fifth Decade with Five Majestic Oak Trees Inside the Mall in Thousand Oaks

View fullsize

The Oaks Shopping Mall in Thousand Oaks. This shot taken early this morning, April 1, 2019, showing the majestic 100 foot oak trees planted inside the mall.

The Oaks originally opened its doors in April 1978 and is thus now in its fifth decade here in Thousand Oaks.

To celebrate this milestone, late yesterday this iconic shopping mall installed five majestic oak trees inside the mall. At over 100 feet in height, these five transplanted trees were relocated via crane into five designated spots near Macy’s (both stores), JCPenney, Nordstrom and the AMC Theater.

Alan Arbour, a local tree expert involved in the effort, notes “It was a monumental effort transporting these five massive trees, identifying spots inside the mall that would accommodate them and plopping them through specially made protrusion holes in the ceiling.”

“The visual element of these five spectacular trees above the mall’s airspace is incredible, if you ask me,” said Grace Gullibal, social media coordinator for The Oaks. “At over 100 feet tall, these trees can be seen from space.”

According to Pulin Mi Laig, spokesperson for The Oaks, “This is just the first step in aligning The Oaks Shopping Mall with the most familiar aspects of the local community.”

We asked what’s next. Pulin Mi Laig’s daughter Ann D. Howe chimed in, “Think rabbits. Lots of rabbits.”

All righty then. We shall see, we shall see.

APRIL FOOLS'!

Happy April Fools' Day!

April Fools' fun in prior years

Breaking News: Volcano Erupts on Conejo Grade in Thousand Oaks Easter Sunday

Hill north of the 101 on the Conejo Grade seen erupting as an active volcano this morning after millions of years in dormancy.

Thousand Oaks residents were startled this morning when a dormant volcano north of Highway 101 erupted.

Newbury Park resident Marvin Molten and his family were halfway up the Conejo Grade when the smoke started spewing out and the lava started flowing down the sides of the prominent hill north of the 101.

"We were on our way to grandma's house for Easter ham when we see this orange lava coming down the hill to the right," said Marvin's wife, Marcy. "We  stopped for a family selfie on the right shoulder, when the heat from the lava literally melted the See's Chocolate Easter Bunny in my daughter's lap. The melted chocolate made a huge mess all over the car!"

This Easter surprise lasted only about 10 minutes. Terry Tectonic of the National Weather Service in Oxnard indicated "the morning fog rolled in from Camarillo and put a damper on the lava flow;  thankfully now I can get back to my family's backyard Easter egg hunt."

Mandy Mantle was hiking on a nearby trail in the Conejo Open Space when she heard an explosion. She looked up and saw ashes flying everywhere. "For a second I thought it was Ash Wednesday," said Mantle.

APRIL FOOLS'!

Happy April Fools' Day!

April Fools' fun in prior years

Now go take a hike at one of over 50 local area trails and hikes around Ventura County.

Four Seasons Westlake Village Teams Up With Kmart to Reinvigorate Space on Hampshire Road

This is breaking news in the Conejo Valley.

Four Seasons Westlake Village has announced a partnership with Kmart to redevelop the former Kmart store at 325 Hampshire Road in Westlake Village. 

Four Seasons Motel at the former Kmart building in Westlake Village.

Kmart, now part of Sears Holdings, occupied the 116,000 store until it vacated the premises in 2004. The space was subsequently leased by Home Depot through 2025, but plans to open up a Home Depot store fell through.

Now, however, Kmart has teamed up with Four Seasons Hotel Westlake Village to create the new Four Seasons Motel Westlake Village.

The Four Seasons Motel Westlake Village will bring 820 cozy, 120 square foot rooms catered towards budget-minded travelers to the Conejo Valley.

Each room will be outfitted with wall to wall linoleum accented by an exclusive Kmart throw rug. The all season Coleman sleeping bag in each room will comfortably sleep up to 1 person, possibly two (depending on size; of the people, that is).

The former Kmart men's and women's restrooms will be brought back to life after 13 years of silence. WiFi will be available throughout the facility, featuring a quite fast (as of 2004) dial-up AOL Internet line.

Travelers will be allocated one special Bluelight Special item per stay, which may include an entire roll of bath tissue or two Twinkies.

Ima Pulin-Urleg of the Four Seasons said "We are thrilled to be partnering with Kmart in this unique extension of the Four Seasons brand. It will provide all visitors to the Conejo Valley an opportunity to experience something they've never experienced before."

The new Four Seasons Motel Westlake Village will offer guests outdoor physical fitness options like nowhere else in the Conejo Valley. In 2017, at no additional cost, guests can tone their upper bodies in the Parking Lot Area Youthfulness (or "PLAY") building program. "Where else can you experience the physical pleasure of repaving an asphalt parking lot?" exclaimed Kmart area manager Brent Musselhead.

Guests can test their physical strength outdoors at the Four Seasons Motel Westlake Village.

For more information, call 1-277-453-6657 or...

1-APR-ILF-OOLS

APRIL FOOLS'!

Happy April Fools' Day!

April Fools' fun in prior years